


carrying the weight (is better than to let you go)

by tende (mon_k)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Phd! Doyoung, Student! Jaehyun, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 04:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16077956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mon_k/pseuds/tende
Summary: the plane broke the thick layer of clouds and doyoung was able to finally see the sun hovering just above it. interrupting the sunlight’s tries to reach the ground below. the rays were almost blinding, shining against the white side of the clouds, making him remember a certain smile. a smile he had not seen for a very long time.(or the AU in which jaehyun and doyoung's lifes take different paths but they somehow make it work)





	carrying the weight (is better than to let you go)

**Author's Note:**

> heey! so this came out of nowhere but i am glad it did! i have been missing writing for a long time :D this is unbetaed, i am sorry TT 
> 
> tittle is from cai xukun's wait wait wait (a beautiful song that wants to get love, pun intended)

he sighed as the plane took off from the ground. the people, the trees and even the buildings on the ground turning into mere dots, reminiscing a reality he used to call his own just hours ago. 

high. 

high.

then it broke the clouds and doyoung was able to finally see the sun hovering just above the thick blanket of clouds interrupting the sunlight’s tries to reach the ground below. the rays were almost blinding, shining against the white side of the clouds, making him remember a certain smile. a smile he had not seen for a very long time.

 _too long_ , he thought.

the man sighed again and rested his head against the window sill. 

 

 _four years._

it was way too long. 

it had been mid-january, in the middle of one of the coldest winters he had ever lived, on a friday afternoon, when jung jaehyun barged into his office at university asking for an exception to the dropping courses rules. he _needed_ to drop a psychology elective because his sister had been hospitalized and there was no one to take care of his niece. doyoung remembered crystal clear the worry in his eyes when he asked the younger man to sit down and take a breath. then, the older man asked jaehyun to explain the situation in detail to see what they could do. 

the men talked for quite some time. jaehyun telling him everything about his sister’s accident with a pot filled with boiling water and how his sister’s husband had left them long ago, not leaving a trace behind. so, he was the only one able to take care of his niece because their mom lived in another city and she had enough on her plate with their dad and her job to take care of her granddaughter. “so, please let me drop the course, kim dongyoung-ssi,” jaehyun’s eyes burned with so much determination, yet doyoung was able to decipher a small bit of desperation and hopelessness hanging just there at the corner of those mesmerizing brown eyes.

after some seconds ticked away, doyoung cleared his throat and said: “i’ll present your case to my superiors and see what we can do. please come to meet me at the same time on monday, jaehyun-ssi.”

the latter nodded politely and stood up, thanking him on his way out.

later that same day, doyoung wrote the case’s report and send it to his boss, marking it as _urgent_. 

once the weekend rolled around, doyoung found himself thinking about jaehyun. about his situation. about his niece. about the possible outcomes of this situation. that is exactly why, when he found himself sitting in his office monday morning, receiving an email from the dean he opened it with shaking fingers from the nervousness. 

_i am sorry, dongyoung-ssi._

_such an exception is not possible._

_i am sure he will find an alternative solution._

he read the mail and sighed heavily. how was he going to tell jaehyun?

the younger man had managed to make doyoung _care_ about his case like no one other. he mapped out a rejection speech for jaehyun and decided to busy himself with other things, to avoid thinking about the topic at hand. 

but when jaehyun was sitting in front of him, staring at him with his fiery eyes, eager for an answer, his whole polite rejection speech went flying out of the window and he was left being a stuttering mess. 

“so, what did they say?” asked jaehyun after some minutes of silence. 

“no,” answered doyoung looking at his desk. “they said it was not possible.”

jae’s shoulders sagged visibly and he sighed. “okay then," he said with his eyes looking down." i should probably be leaving-”

“wait,” doyoung blurted out, trying to make _something_ to take that defeated look away from jaehyun’s eyes. “i could- perhaps we could-”

what was he even doing? doyoung was an old man with problems of his own. “maybe i could help you pass that psychology course.”

“what?” jaehyun stared at him, confusion flashing in his eyes.

“i have an undergraduate degree in psychology, so I thought,” a pause and jaehyun's eyes boring holes into him. “perhaps i could help you if you find yourself having problems with a topic.”

jaehyun let out a long “oh”.

“this is very generous of you, dongyoung-ssi,” started the younger man. “but i have no money to pay you.”

“you don’t have to pay, jaehyun-ssi,” said doyoung looking up. “take this a hobby of mine to spread knowledge of psychology. i am doing this out of self-satisfaction.”

he hoped that didn't come out as too egocentric or weird.

“if you happen to need my help, here is my number,” said the older man scribbling down his number on a piece of paper. “i finish work at 6 in the afternoon and i have the weekends free. we can meet in your place if you need to take care of your niece, or go to a coffee shop or study here in campus,” doyoung paused. “oh, i am ranting, I’m sorry.”

“it’s okay,” laughed jaehyun. “i’ll give you a call if i need you.”

after a moment the younger added: “thank you, dongyoung-ssi.”

“just doyoung it’s fine.” 

with that, they parted ways. jaehyun shocked by the sudden offer and doyoung embarrassed at his own words. what they didn’t realize was that in that exact moment, they sealed their paths as a whole unity. they made themselves addicted to the other existence.

hence, when doyoung knocked on jaehyun’s doorstep a year later, to tell him about the offer he had received to follow a doctorate’s degree in the uk, both felt their world crumbling bit by bit. doyoung was skeptical about taking it, not knowing where was his departure going to leave them as a couple. jaehyun, on the other side, ushered him to take it, reassuring him that he was always going to be there, waiting.

they spend their weekend together, they tried to spend the majority of time together but all too soon it was already mid-july and doyoung found himself hugging jaehyun one last time, before boarding the plane. an “i love you” lingered in the air between the men.

they managed to see each other one time when jaehyun visited doyoung in the uk for the holidays. and those were the most beautiful moments he ever lived in the uk. waking up to jaehyun and having the pleasure to spend the whole day with him. it was like everything around him had lighted up in brighter colors. the dull english winter was turned into the most colorful season of all. 

until the time for jaehyun to return to korea came and they parted once again, not surely knowing when they would see each other again. 

that turned out to be four years from then when doyoung was able to wrap up his thesis and return home. to jaehyun.

they spent the four years in between long skype calls way into the night and text messages every waking moment they had.

it had been too long since he last saw that blinding smile, he thought. since he felt jae’s hand on his lower waist. or his lips on doyoung’s. or his soft brown hair on his hands. but finally, he found himself on the plane back to jaehyun. 

 

the plane took a turn to the right and for a second he was able to see the sea below through the opposite window. a deep blue lazily blinking up at him. then the plane straightened up and sped straight front. 

doyoung sighed again, slowly falling asleep imagining korea, imagining the university and imagining the one man that happened to turn his life upside down with a single look.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you lots to all who finished this! have in mind that feedback, comments, and kudos are the main components of a writer's diet so be sure to leave some traces of your love if you liked this :D
> 
> you can find me on[tumblr](https://www.augustds.com), [cc](https://curiouscat.me/mon_k6) and/or [twitter](https://twitter.com/mon_k6)


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